Eyes of Love

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

The Machine Girl

The life of a young, Japanese schoolgirl is destroyed when her family is killed by a Ninja-Yakuza family. Her hand cut off, she replaces it with various machines-of-death, and seeks revenge.

Pain

Dad catches a ball badly, injuring his finger. His guttural scream instantly hushes the entire sports complex. Sarah is paralysed. She barely recognises him; red faced, clutching his hand and crying. In the sanctuary of the locker changing rooms, Sarah explores and tests theories about what has happened with her Dad. She questions who her father is while struggling to grasp the concept of pain, both inside and out. Having found an apparent conclusion, Sarah returns to an apologetic Dad, and decides to put his promises to the test.music:Annette Focksproducer:Tobias Rosen, Heike Wiehle-Timmproduction:Relevant Film, Warner Bros Entertainment Germanybacking:Deutscher Filmförderfonds (DFFF) (DE), Schleswig-Holstein Film Commission (DE), Filmförderungsanstalt (FFA)(DE)distributor:Warner Bros Entertainment Germany

Atla Gel Şaban

Niyazi is a humble factory worker whose life is turned upside down when he wins the “altılı ganyan” (six-horse accumulator) lottery. Suddenly, everyone from neighbours to total strangers, claiming to be his long-lost relatives, crowds around him hoping for a share of his fortune. Thanks to his quick wit, Niyazi manages to outsmart these opportunists and keep his winnings.

Nightmare Factory

The story of how one Pittsburgh boy’s fascination with monsters drove him to the very top of the Hollywood food chain. In 1989, Greg Nicotero, much to his parents’ chagrin, quit medical school and headed for Hollywood to pursue a dream of making monsters. Together with gore masters Howard Berger and Robert Kurtzman, Nicotero went on to create KNB EFX Group, one of the most prolific makeup effects studios in the world. After twenty years as the “go to guy” for the world’s most successful horror/sci-fi films, Greg Nicotero is the first one directors like Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez call.

Shotgun Stories

Shotgun Stories tracks a feud that erupts between two sets of half brothers following the death of their father. Set against the cotton fields and back roads of Southeast Arkansas, these brothers discover the lengths to which each will go to protect their family.

Labyrinth of Passion

An array of outrageous people, including a desperate nymphomaniac and a terrorist with an acute sense of smell, seek love and happiness in Madrid.

Hard Luck

A down on his luck young man makes several attempts at committing suicide but fails them too. He then finds himself becoming more confident through a series of petty adventures, to such an extent that this becomes his undoing.

The Love Guru

Born in America and raised in an Indian ashram, Pitka returns to his native land to seek his fortune as a spiritualist and self-help expert. His skills are put to the test when he must get a brokenhearted hockey player's marriage back on track in time for the man to help his team win the Stanley Cup.

Gods of War: Assembling Earth's Mightiest Anti-Heroes

Documentary about the filming of the movie The Expendables 2.

Our Hope Is Şaban

Waking Ned

When a lottery winner dies of shock, his fellow townsfolk attempt to claim the money.

Yankee Doodle Dandy

A film of the life of the renowned musical composer, playwright, actor, dancer and singer George M. Cohan.

The United Monster Talent Agency

A short comedy spoof about Universal Monsters and their everyday unconventional work done at their very own talent agency for their movies.

Armour of God 3: Chinese Zodiac

Asian Hawk leads a mercenary team to recover several lost artifacts from the Old Summer Palace, the bronze heads of the twelve Chinese Zodiac animals which were sacked by the French and British armies from the imperial Summer Palace in Beijing in 1860. Assisted by a Chinese student and a Parisian woman, Hawk stops at nothing to accomplish the mission.

Gamera 2: Attack of Legion

A strange meteor lands in Japan and unleashes hundreds of insect-like "Legion" creatures bent on colonizing the Earth. When the military fails to control the situation, Gamera shows up to deal with the ever-evolving space adversary. However the battle may result in Gamera losing his bond with both Asagi and humanity.

Chronicle of an Escape

The true story of four men who narrowly escaped death at the hands of Argentina's military death squads in 1977. Claudio Tamburrini is a goalie for a minor-league football team when he is abducted by members of the Argentine military police and taken to an unofficial detention center on the false suspicion that he is a terrorist. As he is tortured by intelligence agents looking for information he doesn't have, Tamburrini fully expects to be killed. After many sessions of brutal torture, Tamburrini and his fellow captives Guillermo and Tano are being readied for execution when, in a final desperate act, Tamburrini dives out a window during a rainstorm.

Training Wheels

When Margo, Edith, and Agnes chase after an ice cream truck, little Agnes struggles to keep up and takes a tumble while pedaling her bike. Seeing her disappointment, the Minions spring into action to lift her spirits. Using their quirky ingenuity, they construct a unicorn-themed motorcycle to help Agnes ride in style. With her new wheels, Agnes embarks on a whimsical and heartwarming ride through town, showcasing the Minions’ unwavering dedication to bringing joy to the girls’ lives. This short captures the charm of teamwork, creativity, and pure delight.

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj

Taj Mahal Badalandabad leaves Coolidge College behind for the halls of Camford University in England, where he looks to continue his education, and teach an uptight student how to make the most out of her academic career.

Close Range

A rogue soldier turned outlaw is thrust into a relentless fight with a corrupt sheriff, his obedient deputies, and a dangerous drug cartel in order to protect his sister and her young daughter.