Stop at Nothing

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Saving General Yang

When a rival nation sends troops to invade the Song Dynasty, the emperor sends general Yang Ye (Adam Cheng) to defend the nation. However, Yang's place in the court is shaky due to a feud with Pan Renmei caused by the accidental death of his son at the hands of one of Yang's sons. At the battle, Yang is abandoned by Pan's troops, leaving him trapped in the face of an attack by Yeli Yuan (Shao Bing), an enemy general who wants to kill Yang to avenge his father. After learning about their father's predicament, Yang Ye's seven sons set out to rescue their father at any cost.

Santa's Apprentice

Santa doesn't want to retire, but rules are rules and he must train someone to replace him. The lucky winner, to be chosen from among millions of children, must be named Nicholas, be an orphan and have a pure heart. On the other side of the planet, there is a little boy who is a perfect match, but his lack of self-confidence and fear of heights make him a poor contestant. Will Santa agree to step down, and help his apprentice take his place?

Beverly Hills Cop III

When his boss is killed, Detroit cop Axel Foley finds evidence that the murderer had ties to a California amusement park called Wonder World. Returning to sunny Beverly Hills once more, Foley reunites with Detective Billy Rosewood to solve the case. Along with Billy's new partner, Detective Jon Flint, they discover that Wonder World is being used as a front for a massive counterfeiting ring.

Nullarbor

An animated road-movie set across the vast and barren landscape of Australia's Nullarbor Plain.

Blue Crush 2

Haunted by the memory of her deceased mother, Dana leaves Malibu behind and heads to South Africa to fulfill her mother's dream of surfing Jefferys Bay.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The Autobots continue to work for NEST, now no longer in secret. But after discovering a strange artifact during a mission in Chernobyl, it becomes apparent to Optimus Prime that the United States government has been less than forthright with them.

The Wild Soccer Bunch 5

"The Wild Soccer Bunch" celebrate their last victory against the "Silver Lights" - and set one record in volley-pass game after another in the forest. But they are not alone: Vampires target the team. To lure them into their bunker, they kidnap Leon. Will Vanessa ever see him again?

The United Monster Talent Agency

A short comedy spoof about Universal Monsters and their everyday unconventional work done at their very own talent agency for their movies.

1/1

Lissa, a twenty-year-old girl trapped in rural Pennsylvania, grapples with sex, drugs, love and loss. When a possible pregnancy forces her to take a hard look at her life, both her and the structure of the film mature, illuminating a brighter path ahead.

Our Hope Is Şaban

Satan

A group of young people leave a disco and bump into a shepherd who is ready to spend his night worshipping Satan.

102 Dalmatians

Get ready for a howling good time as an all new assortment of irresistible animal heroes are unleashed in this great family tail! In an unlikely alliance, the outrageous Waddlesworth - a parrot who thinks he's a Rottweiler - teams up with Oddball - an un-marked Dalmatian puppy eager to earn her spots! Together they embark on a laugh-packed quest to outwit the ever-scheming Cruella De Vil.

Final Destination 5

Death is just as omnipresent as ever, and is unleashed after one man’s premonition saves a group of coworkers from a terrifying suspension bridge collapse. But this group of unsuspecting souls was never supposed to survive, and, in a terrifying race against time, the ill-fated group frantically tries to discover a way to escape Death’s sinister agenda.

Macross Plus: The Movie

Three decades after the great war between the humans and the Zentradi, the U.N. government is developing new technologies to use in their transforming fighter aircraft by running tests on the colony planet Eden. Military test pilots and former childhood friends, loose cannon Isamu Alva Dyson and the Zentradi mixed race Guld Goa Bowman, are selected to each pilot a new aircraft (Shinsei Industries' YF-19 & General Galaxy's YF-21) for Project Super Nova, to choose the newest successor to the VF-11 Thunderbolt variable fighter which is currently still in use by the U.N. Spacy military forces. Their own personal grudges end up disrupting the tests, and begin to wreak havoc on the program.

Darkness, Light, Darkness

A human body gradually reconstructs itself as its various component parts crowd themselves into a small room and eventually, after much experimentation, sort out which part goes where.

George & Mildred

Big screen spin-off of the Seventies sitcom. Mildred Roper is determined to make husband George celebrate their wedding anniversary in style, at a posh hotel in London. However, upon arrival George is mistaken by a gangland criminal for a rival hitman, and soon the Ropers find themselves up to their necks in trouble on the wrong side of the law!

Object: Alimony

Ruth Butler, a clerk in an emporium, marries Jimmy Rutledge and thereby greatly displeases his mother, the owner of the emporium, because of Ruth's lowly origins. Renaud Graham, one of Mrs. Rutledge's friends, becomes interested in Ruth, forces his way into her apartment, and attempts to make violent love to her. Jimmy walks in on their embrace and, suspecting the worst, leaves Ruth. In the family way, Ruth finds refuge in a boardinghouse where she meets Al Bryant, an aspiring writer. Ruth tells Al her life story, and he makes it into a bestselling novel and then into a play. Jimmy sees the play and comes to his senses, winning Ruth's forgiveness.

Hellraiser: Bloodline

Three generations of the same family deal with the consequences of unleashing the forces of hell.

Female Trouble

Dawn Davenport progresses from a teenage nightmare hell-bent on getting cha-cha heels for Christmas to a fame monster whose egomaniacal impulses land her in the electric chair.