Barry Pearl

as Abe

as Auctioneer Sims

as Milwaukee Owner

as Doody

as Stan Weaver

as Doody (archive footage)

as Mr. Motes

as Man

as Dr. Paulson

as Morty

as Mr. Chaney

as News Director

as Rumpelstiltskin

as Paul Whitset

as Doctor

as Dr. Noble

as Norman

as Eddie

as Johnny Glitter

as P.R. Staffer

as Bob

as Clarence

as Red

as Music Video Director

as Warren Thurston

as Doody

as Barry Silver

as Recruit Mignone

as Mario Pellegrini

as Tom Canty

as Smokey the Bear (voice)

as Barry Silver