Jim Jackman

as Rutherford B. Hayes

as Kidnapper

as Principal Vegas

as Melvin

as Lucky Brassiere / Joey Carbone / Thumb in Stall

as (voice)

as Humpy / Baker / Brother

as Dentist / Boiler Room Guy #1 / Crunchy / Lieutenant (voice)

as Jish / Nice Old Lady / Crotchety Fisherman (voice)

as Detail Supervisor

as Police Chief / Criminal #1 / Terrified Man (voice)

as Dentist / Boiler Room Guy #1 / Baby and Sex Change Barker / 'I Can't Swim!' (voice)

as Bus Driver

as Nervous Guy

as Crunchy / Lieutenant (voice)

as Pig (voice)

as Shorty

as Hockey Fan

as Paul

as Venetta

as Landlord

as Man

as Mike Milken

as Party Guest

as Plugsy (voice)

as Major Asshole

as Security Guard